I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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