You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
