I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
