you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
