Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
