are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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