Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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