I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
