And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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