2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
operation have a gay friend backfired
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
