are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
