I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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