is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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