Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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