Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
