i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
