Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
