dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
