He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
