I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
A bitchslap is in order.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
