it was like eating out sand paper
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
