it glows. i had to have it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
