Need sex. Gaining weight.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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