you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
