garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
True strength comes from lack of pants
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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