grandma shit on top of the toilet
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
