Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
