Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
