Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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