Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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