My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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