i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
