she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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