Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Princesses don't give blow jobs
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize