I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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