I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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