He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
