1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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