if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
