Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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