So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
