We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
