So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Blood and glitter go together right?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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