Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
