anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
