She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
