My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
