Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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