well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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