i think my tv is drunk
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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